Will my (new) girlfriend notice?

My name is Rob and I am based in London (the one in the UK). I work in the nightclub business and have been adding height since my late teens (I am now mid 30s) and have learned loads of the pitfalls and mistakes (having made every single one of them so far, and still learning). Adding height is actually very straightforward, almost a science, and it’s helped by the modern generation of elevators. But even if you stock up with loads of elevators in all styles, there are still lessons to be learned and niggling questions that people ask again and again. And I am here to help. By all means ask. And then this is my first piece in the Advice Section…

big rob elevated shoes

I will start for the first few weeks by drawing from questions people have asked my when I have put my e-mail address on a website about height.

My first piece of advice stems from a dozen or so queries I have had when I have mentioned on height websites that I add height through lifts and/or elevators. There is an obsession among guys with some very basic things. One is “won’t it cause problems going through security at airports?” (nope, but I will deal with that here another time, and the reasons).

But the main query which keeps on coming up every time, as if it is something new, relates to; “What happens when you get back home with a girl and you take your shoes off.” The implication being that she will notice (shock horror) that you have lost almost all your height and be turned off. I cannot tell you how often guys ask me this.

Well, hopefully a lot happens when the pair of you ‘get back home’ and I can tell you almost certainly none of it will be related to measuring your height! It has never ever happened to me.

Here is the real point about this. Women wear all sorts of footwear, far far more varied in height adding than guys. Up and down they go, in and out of the house, day and night – 4″ heels, 5″ heels even higher with platforms. Trainers with whopping great platforms. Every single woman, even tall ones, tends to wear heels – my own girlfriend wears ridiculously high heels and platforms and she is very very tall already.

What this means is that the fears of guys adding height are almost certainly unfounded at that early and happy stage of a relationship! Girls just do not notice, Period. But there are a few very basic caveats which I list here:

1 Existing height is important. If you are 5’7″, do not go for 5″ elevators – believe it or not, even with these most girls will not notice! But some WILL. It’s not worth the risk at that height. At that level stick to a few inches max. Then it just looks like the natural added height that ALL shoes give. But in fact it is slightly more. If you are already tall, over 6′, well (and life isn’t fair I guess!) you really can add as much as you like and women never ever notice. I am 6’2.5′ and always add over 4″ all the time now. I am staggered how I can take my boots off, wander around and even then girls just do not realize.

2 If you are adding height in this situation, do not draw attention to your feet: this is something that applies particularly in North America where most people are very conservative and slightly old fashioned. Europe is different and some countries seriously so: all sorts of options are acceptable in many countries in Europe, it really all depends upon age and personal style and what is fashionable – but generally, if you are asking me or yourself a question about being detected and fearing the response of a girl, then stick to traditional and mainstream. No very unusual styles or with trousers that do not cover/sit nicely on the boot/shoe. There is an irony here: once you are with someone full time, then you can give full rein to your choice and that can often mean adding more height through heavier soles in varied colours etc. But obviously only if it is your style.

3 And finally do not be tempted to add too much new height as well, simply because of comfort – they higher you go, the more you have to work at it. At walking right, at the right clothes etc. Trust me you get used to it, and I love being at least 4″ taller. But I have only got there over a very long period. So go carefully at first.

And you will always be amazed at how people in general, even your family, will not notice that you have grown.

My mother works as a psychologist helping the baffled police in England to grasp why different witnesses tell them that the alleged culprit is 5’8″ or 6′, blond or dark, wearing a green jumper or a red one. This is because people are NOT observant even about really major details never mind about the gradations of height. However, once something is fixed in their mind, of course, that is different. So do NOT go around measuring yourself with others or drawing attention to your height until and unless you really want to.

So that is why adding height at a level that is appropriate will NOT be detected. And once you get to know the girl more, well then it is up to you what you do or say – she may not ever really actually notice unless you say, and a lot of the time it’s just like the woman herself – in some footwear you are taller than others. It’s No Big Deal.